News Item: Loud Dog Barks Removed Surgically

Neighbors complained that the ear-busting woofs kept them awake at night. So, a court order required the family with the bothersome dogs to have their vocal cords tied off. Of course, there are legal and humanitarian arguments on both sides of that drastic move.

However, if the order were extended to where it would do the most good, most of us would agree to vocal cord silencing of:

Rock star yappers and howlers
Big-mouthed winning and losing politicians
Little loud dictators with funny haircuts and big bombs
Your ever-yapping and snarling in-laws
TV commercials for phony medications
In-your-face on-line ads for overpriced gas guzzlers
Catty women meowers at the beauty shop
Smirking political experts on morning news shows
Everyone named Kardashian or married to one

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