70% Of American Teens Are Too Fat To Join Up

According to several recent beancounter research organizations, most blubber-assed kids in the U.S. today couldn’t qualify to serve in the Armed Forces. This fat fuss reminds an old sailor of the recruiting scene in World War 2.

Just hours after the Pearl Harbor attack by Japan in December 1941, millions of red-blooded teen boys rushed to recruiting stations to sign up. Additionally, those age 18 and above who weren’t so anxious to enlist knew they’d soon be drafted into the Army.

When I hit age 17 eight months after the Pearl Harbor attack, to avoid spending the war in an Army mud hole, I enlisted in the Navy. I remember some applicants in the recruiting station were turned town. They had heart murmurs, flat feet, thick glasses or other physical problems. I don’t recall any being sent home for being too fat.

However, updated WW2 statistics may reveal that many recruits with the most blubber were promoted to officer ranks. Then they served bravely through the war on their huge fat asses defending desks at the Pentagon in Washington DC.

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