Oldsters: Get Your Ashes Hauled And Spread

As a very, very ancient guy approaching the inevitable, one of the more interesting, but intrusive internet ads I’ve observed recently is for a flying funeral service.

I won’t name the company, but if it keeps posting the offer, you’re sure to see it splashed across your big or little screen. My interest was piqued by some of the famous locations the ad suggests where you can choose to have your remainders scattered from above. They include national parks, monuments, mountains, deserts, beaches and other dramatically scenic final destinations.

I agree that those ultimate ash-hauling locations are ok, but I’d like to volunteer some of my more preferred final flights of fancy:

Above the White House lawn onto an outdoor Trump family and friends lunch.
On grossly overpaid football kneelers as they disrespect the USA.
Strew buckets of still-burning white ash over all the white hoods at a KKK rally.
Sprinkled on top of a fat-ashed Kardashian family picnic.
Over the millionaire Clinton$ as they pile up their million$ from paid speeches.

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