The notorious Hollywood casting coucher, plagued with accusations by famous and infamous actresses, is now allegedly hidden away in a sterile medical environment. It’s his attempt to rid himself of the dreaded affliction of sexual womanizing.
Can you just imagine what a day in that sentiMENTAL institution entails? For example, instead of Playboy magazine, required reading is Popular Mechanics. Then an hour of vigorous hands-off booty exercises, followed by a cold shower.
Supplied by the nursing staff with balls of yarn, he must do creative crochet instead of carnal crotch grabbing. Weekends are spent in a guys-only steam room with TV playing endless NFL and NBA games.
When Harvey is considered totally rehabilitated, he’s expected to move into a special Hollywood mogul monastery where he will make only religious films. They will be about saintly producers of the past, such as Mike Todd, Louis B. Mayer, Harry Cohn and Roman Polanski.