Austria: Fresh-faced 31-year-old Elected Chancellor

Just imagine youthful Sebastian Kurz’ awe-inspiring inauguration speech (translated from German):

As I assume this great office, I want my Mommy and Daddy to be proud of me, also my little dog Spot and kitten Fluffy. And for their support and giggles, I must also thank my Austrian neighborhood playmates, Hansel, Gretel, Goldilocks, Rapunzel, Heidi and all the others.

Because of my serious chancellor duties and other boring stuff, I’ll miss the fun we had. Of course, when my official duties permit and the politicians aren’t looking, I’ll sneak out and do some merry go round, see-saw and play tag with the other kids.

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