Cures For Old Guys Sentenced To Sexual Rehab

Among other outed older gropers, rapers and seducers, Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein are now said to be undergoing the psychological procedure called sexual rehabilitation. What are the studies involved with that cure?

We can only imagine the required classroom courses of education in that subject, along with cold showers and watching Roseanne Barr videos. For example…

Students, our classroom test program today begins with standing with your pants zippers open. Then, when a 14-year-old walks by, at the sound of my whistle, I want to hear those zippers zapped closed as quickly as greased lightning.

And remember, you horny old creeps, 21 is the age of consent. Any actions with females or males over that tender age will include courtroom appearances and hefty lawyer’s fees.

Those students who flunked today’s tests must remain in the classroom for another hour to write on the blackboard 100 times: I am a horny old bastard, and I’ll never, ever grope groins again.

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