Big ƒ¶§¥∆ Deal! NY Jets Reduce Tix Prices 11%

To try to pick up sagging attendance, the civic-minded, kindly Jets are trying to lure more game attendees into the stands. For the upcoming season, the cheapest tickets in the eyeball-challenging upper deck will be $45 a game, while those in the mezzanine for rich people and politicians will cost $95 and up per game.

Of course, added will be the usual robberies beyond ticket charges, including sky-high parking rates, expensive beer and overpriced snacks. Hey, oldsters. Can your failing brain remember not so long ago when upper deck tickets were 50¢ and expensive front row seats $2?

The average Jet player earns more than $5 million a year, with some over $10 million, all for just six months of actual work. Of course, jocks need some of those millions to pay agents, pimps, limos, whores, drugs and ex-wives. It all reminds me of 1930, when President Hoover’s impressive annual salary was $75,000. Babe Ruth of the New York Yankees took home $100,000, and when asked why he was paid more than the President, he said, “I had a better year”.

Sane advice is to stay home and watch the Jets and other pro sports games happening much closer to your eyeballs for free from the comfort of your couch. No need for costly driving and parking, nor grossly overpriced seats, snacks and beer. No drunks spilling beer all over you as they jump and curse. And, as an added bonus, you won’t have to kneel during the national anthem in sympathy for the downtrodden NFL multi-millionaires.

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