USA Today: McDonald’s Fries Cure Baldness

A bunch of Japanese scientists claim they’ve tested rubbing the oily taters on naked mice and …. Voila! … the little guys got hairy. The magic ingredient in the burger oil is dimethylpolysiloxane. Don’t try to pronounce it, baldy. Just get to the store and find some for your naked pate.

So, if that McDonald’s fast food item can work hirsute miracles, maybe others can be effective in rubbing other bodily areas. A very spicy chicken sandwich at Wendy’s can intensify your love life if you don’t turn chicken. The soft tacos at Chipotle can soften lovers’ hard hearts. Taco Bell’s chicken quesadilla will make your next date a thrilla!

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