Illegal Aliens Called Undocumented Immigrants?

OK, forget the ranting politics on both sides of the dilemma. However, as a long-retired news writer and son of immigrant parents, I’m somewhat sympathetic. Let’s try to make doing something illegal sound a bit less traumatic. So, just suppose we alter several harsh descriptions to make them more palatable:

Schoolyard bully = sensitive overweight youth
Drunk driver = victim of the alcohol industry
Smoker = victim of the tobacco industry
Drug addict = victim of the music industry
Thief = taker of other people’s stuff
Politician = taker of rich people’s stuff
Snake oil = miraculous meds advertised endlessly on TV
Dictator = politician with funny haircut and/or mustache
Vermin mice = cute little animals that inspired Walt Disney
Overpriced rust bucket = pre-owned car
National Anthem kneeler: Arrogant grossly overpaid pro jock

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