American Airlines Pilot Arrested For Boozing

According to news sources, the drunken flyer was pulled from his plane in England’s Manchester Airport before scheduled take-off for Philadelphia in the USA. This has happened before, and if you’re ever a passenger in the same situation, here are some clues on a boozy captain’s speaker announcements:

All passengers fasten your chastity belts
The altitude will be very high, but not as high I am right now
This flight is headed for some place I can’t remember
I just got slapped for explaining the word cockpit to a stewardess
Damn service dogs! I just slipped on something in the aisle
Be kind to that sloppy drunk in the next seat. He’s my co-pilot.

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