Tag Archives: George Washington

Hey, Students, Gotta Destroy All Them Bad Guys

As if skipping classes, hearing noisy rock music and vaping aren’t enough to keep their young minds occupied, students at Hofstra University on Long Island staged a protest. They demanded a statue of Thomas Jefferson be pulled down. Their reason is it “Glorifies slavery, genocide, colonization, manifest destiny”. Of course, the protest doesn’t include banning Jefferson Airplane or Jefferson Starship .

Additionally, a San Francisco public school district may decide to remove a mural of George Washington from the halls of George Washington High School. The complaint is that it’s offensive and demeaning to Native and African-Americans.

Gee, what great ideas! Let’s just destroy all art and entertainment icons that could offend someone. How about paintings of King David, Saul and Solomon, who had lots of slaves. Along with them, let’s condemn those evil actors who entertained in blackface.

Not only Al Jolson, but also Judy Garland, Eddie Cantor, Desi Arnaz, James Cagney, Fred Astaire, Bob Hope, Gene Kelly and the Marx Brothers. And Lawrence Olivier doing Othello and Mel Brooks portraying a Native American chief with a Jewish accent in “Blazing Saddles”.

Was Revolutionary War General Pulaski Actually A Woman?

Recent forensic studies of the hero’s bones have scientists speculating that the Polish U.S. Army commander may have fooled General Washington and all the other patriots. Did she come over from Poland in 1776 posing as a man?

Therefore, can we speculate that other high-ranking military guys were also actually girls? Perhaps famed American generals who may not have been male, and their real names were Ursula S. Grant, Roberta E. Lee, and four Georgias: Washington, Marshall, Patton and Custer. And let’s not forget Joan Paula Jones of the Navy.

Quotes By Famous People About Public Toilets

My famous words: Always remember, even the noblest of us all always must find bathroom relief:
John Paul Jones: I have not yet begun to fight. First I need to use the ship’s head (toilet).
Teddy Roosevelt: Charge! The enemy charges you to use the toilet!
Washington: I’m standing up in the boat because I need to pee into the river.
Emerson: Hitch your wagon to a star, and hitch your pants up after you go.
Napoleon: An army travels on its stomach and then its bladder and bowels.
Edmund Burke: The only way for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing, then sneakily climb into the stall to go free in a pay toilet.
Donald Trump: When somebody challenges you, fight back. Be brutal, be tough and force your way into the toilet stall first.

Voters Loved Generals, Now It’s Show Biz Stars

Remember when you managed to stay awake in U.S. history class? The obvious fact was that many early Presidents had been Army generals. Starting with George Washington, then on to Andy Jackson, Zachary Taylor, William Henry Harrison, U.S. Grant and Ike Eisenhower. Of course, Teddy Roosevelt was only a colonel, but his heroic charge up San Juan Hill soon got him elected, too.

However, for the past 40 years or so, celebrity got most presidential wannabes into the White House. It started with Jack Kennedy, and although he had been a lowly Navy lieutenant, his World War 2 heroism and movie-star looks combined to start the trend we’re in today.

Bill Clinton, who actually marched against the Vietnam War, also had the young politician glamor. And, of course, he also exhibited some of the Kennedy extra-marital wanderings. And Ronald Reagan, who served as a recruiting officer in World War 2, got into the White House because of his actual movie star personality.

Then, along came Trump, with two positive features that appealed to celebrity-crazed voters. Not only did he host his own TV show, but he also brought a lifetime of slightly nefarious, but very successful business dealings. And he barely beat out the first woman candidate for the presidency, none other than the faithful wife of a previous predatory president.

And now, rising fast in the ranks for future presidential candidates is Oprah Winfrey. She brings to the fray several powerful attributes. She’s talented, black, female, wealthy and a huge show biz star. And in spite of her billions in the bank, she’s a liberal Democrat. OK, so she’s never been a general nor queen of Ancient Egypt, but what could possibly go wrong in the Electoral College for her vs Trump in 2020?

Tear Down Those Statues: Where Does It Stop?

Some professional protesters of a war that happened 150 years ago now want to destroy all the statues of guys who lost that war. Robert E. Lee, Jeff Davis, Stonewall Jackson, James Longstreet and other Southern leaders.

The biggest gripe among the current statue-destroying crowd is that those guys in grey had black slaves. So, if it’s OK to tear down tributes to them, to be fair, let’s dismantle all statues of slaveholders.

George Washington, James Madison, Ben Franklin, Patrick Henry and Andy Jackson had slaves. Tom Jefferson had hundreds, including Sally Hemings, who bore Tom several kids. Even Union Army General Ulysses S. Grant had five slaves until the Civil War.

Also, let’s go way, way back in history to consider destroying statues of ancient guys who owned slaves. Of course, all Egyptian pharaohs had gangs of Hebrew slaves working on those pyramids at way below minimum wage. Biblical kings Joshua, Solomon and Nebuchadnezzar had scads of slaves.

The statue of King David, a magnificent work by Michelangelo in Florence, is considered one of history’s greatest works of art. OK, protesters, let’s get over there and chop down that old slave owner’s image into a pile of pebbles.

History Channel: Washington Wins At Gettysburg

Huh? An historic painting posted online with the wrong caption. Some scholar at that esteemed channel must have been smoking some of the stuff now legal in Nevada. The painting actually portrays the general greeting his victorious troops after the Battle at Yorktown in 1781.

Pay attention, students! On this most patriotic day of the year, can we now expect even more accurate facts from the Hysteria Channel? Would you believe Washington taking a selfie while crossing the Mississippi? Could we see Woodrow Wilson declaring war on Canada? Or Richard Nixon invading Mexico? How about Abe Lincoln giving his four-score-and-seven speech at President Hillary Clinton’s inauguration.

Hillary And Other Presidential Skeletons

Hillary Clinton is running for president, and more old bonehead errors keep clattering out of her closet. Win or lose, she’s not the first, nor last, with secrets that keep flashing into the bright light of public opinion.

Now that Hillary Clinton has started to reclaim the White House, she can expect even heavier exposure. Erased e-mails, Bill’s romps, Benghazi, shady finances and scores more scandals. All will loudly snipe at her campaign, making more closet clatter than Bill’s next hidden girlfriend.

Of course, if she becomes leader of the free world, it isn’t as if Hillary would be the only U.S. president who has had such baggage. Even Bill’s extramarital misbehavior seems mild compared to some others. Does Watergate and Richard Nixon bring back any memories?

Harry Truman replaced Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1945 when FDR suddenly died. His political enemies yapped about him constantly. Truman jumped from political crony local judge to senator in Missouri. The skeleton in his closet was pal Tom Pendergast, a corrupt political boss.

When FDR was running for his fourth term in 1944, advisers suggested Truman as the vice presidential candidate. FDR was rumored to have remarked, “Just keep the little bastard out of my hair.”

In the 2008 campaign John McCain needed a running mate. His political brainless trust suggested little-known Sarah Palin, then governor of Alaska. McCain feared Hillary Clinton would be on the Democratic ticket with Obama, and he desperately needed a woman veep candidate. Any woman. And that’s what destroyed his Presidential hopes.

What about the fun-loving Kennedys? John‘s secret relationships with a Mob girlfriend, Marilyn Monroe and many other shady ladies still echo through the rumor mills. Brothers Bobby and Ted Kennedy also did their wanderings from the marriage bed.

Early presidential history is full of closet skeletons. Andy Jackson married Rachel before she was officially divorced. Grover Cleveland had a similar scandal when he was accused of fathering a child with a secret girlfriend.

Veep Andrew Johnson, president after Lincoln was killed, was a longtime alcoholic who barely survived impeachment. During WW2, General Eisenhower had a young blonde British chauffeurette who apparently drove him to distraction.

Maybe it all started with our first president. When little George Washington told his dad he couldn’t tell a lie, the elder Washington should have clued him in. “Georgie, you’ll never, ever make it in politics if you don’t know how to lie!”

And Now For the Champeeenship: Donald vs Hillary!

This will be one for the history books, not that anyone in the smartphone future will know what a book is. Generations of Americans not yet born will wonder how our insane election process, after all the hoopla and campaigning, came up with two of the worst candidates in the nation’s history. And each with the ultimate goal to become the leader of the free world.

One of the sterling Presidential wannabees built a huge fortune by frequently declaring bankruptcy. It was his clever business strategy to screw millions of hapless investors out of billions of dollars. The other is striving to control the nation’s affairs, but could never, ever keep her hankering husband’s zipper closed in his affairs.

Like her or not, you must admire the ambitious Hillary, the first woman in history to run for the top job. If she wins, she’ll return to the White House with Bill, who’ll loyally serve under her as first husband. Except for certain nights when he’ll be serving over an intern or two.

Just maybe it’s possible that pre-senile, post-Socialist Bernie Sanders may run as a third party candidate in the November elections, hoping to beat out the two party-annointed ones. To stir up voters, he could choose Sarah Palin or Ted Cruz as his running mate. American voters these days aren’t the sharpest tools in the woodshed, but a sure-to-fail Bernie bid could actually happen.

Just maybe, we can hope that somewhere in the land there’s a clone of George Washington, Teddy Roosevelt or Abe Lincoln who’ll come galloping in at the last moment to win the White House. However, with our political luck lately, it would be more like a Rutherford B. Hayes or Andrew Johnson.