Tag Archives: smoking

Smoker: Kill Yourself, But Don’t Murder Your Family

Statistics show that addicted smokers cut from 10 to 20 years from average lifespans. Worse, consider your kids, who spend years absorbing your stink addiction, and grow up with lung and throat diseases.

Also, you stink! Breath, hair, body and clothing foul all around you. You infest all who must sit nearby in flights, restaurants and everywhere else. Walking down city streets on a clear day is ruined by addicts puffing away as they send the obnoxious odors into the air.

Greedy lawyers get rich suing asbestos makers by claiming the use of the material in civilian and Navy ship compartments causes cancer. As an old Navy guy, I experienced the close bunk confinement aboard ships. The never-ending cigarette smoke was much more deadly for causing future cancer casualties than asbestos.

Harvard Scientists In White Coats Research The Obvious

They wondered why Americans, who pay more for healthcare than any other nation, rank 31st in the world for life expectancy. Statistics say it’s now 77 for US men and 82 for women. For Brits the figures are 81 and 84. Of course, in some healthy islands off England, Sweden and Japan, it goes as high as 88 for men and 95 for women.

The study named five health habits that contribute to long life: not smoking, non-fat body, at least 30 minutes of daily exercise, moderate boozing and sensible diet. Hey, future lung cancer patients, note which killer bad health habit is listed … cough, cough… first.

Hey, Smokers: You Stink To High Heaven

And fortunately for non-smoking kids and adults nearby, your deadly addiction will soon get you to that final destination. After your suicide by self-inflicted lung cancer, the rest of us will then be able to breathe fresh air again.

Too frequently we get reminders of the damage cigarettes cause beyond foul odors, destroyed lungs and shortened lives of smokers. At 2 a.m. on a recent night, a clueless nicotine addict in our apartment building tossed a burning cigarette into a basement trash can.

Fire and billowing smoke from the drunk, stoned and/or stupid act brought many fire trucks. The building elevators were smoked out, and there was emergency evacuation down crowded stairways. It was especially difficult for physically- and age-challenged elderly tenants. Three were hospitalized with smoke-inhalation problems.

There are many more examples of fires caused by careless smokers. Southern California, now suffering its worst drought in decades, has been plagued recently with huge and destructive forest fires. The reason is too often a carelessly dropped burning cigarette.

Of course, smoking is legal, and becoming more so as marijuana is accepted in some states. Between coughs, smokers will declare that it is their right to foul the air whenever and wherever they damn well please. And so what if little kids, along with the elderly, are nearby to breathe in the deadly poisons and noxious odors.

If addicts don’t care enough about their lungs, maybe they should consider the damage to their pocketbooks. Average pack-a-day smokers pay about $7 for each, and spend nearly $9,000 a year on the smelly addiction. Consider fresh-air cruises that money would buy.

More seriously, do smokers realize that the addiction takes at least 10 years from the average lifespan? Nor that it also adds about $10,000 a month to the inevitable final medical costs to their families as they cough out their last days in hospital cancer wards.

1952: Ronald Reagan Hawks Xmas Cancer Sticks

  We actually liked Reagan and almost voted for him once or twice. However, look at that asinine grin on his face while a cigarette dangles from his mouth. If he were running for President today and posed for such an offensive ad, would any non-smokers or reformed puffers vote for him?
Remember all those colorful holiday ads by cigarette companies in national magazines, newspapers and TV commercials? In addition to movie stars, they featured sports heroes, rugged cowboys and others who recited with straight faces all the phony health benefits (More Doctors Smoke Camels) of the deadly products.

Have you started your holiday gift shopping yet for this season? If you’re against smoking, you may decide not to give cartons of deadly cigarettes. Instead, will you find an appropriate gift for beloved family and friends? How about a ticket for a thrilling cruise on a leaky, overloaded boat filled with Syrian refugee families heading for Europe?

Suggestions: Shooing Stinky ß∑¶π Smokers 

This old guy just can’t stop ranting about §¶ø≤ who insist on puffing those §¶ø≤ coffin nails! Never a smoker since I tried my first and last cigarette nearly 80 years ago, I’ve developed an ever-growing dislike for both the £¢∞≥ addiction and the œ∞π addicted. 

In college, the Navy and during a long business career, I was too often trapped in small closed areas full of inconsiderate, foul-smelling, puffing and coughing ßøπø smokers. No one could complain back then, because smoking was the norm. Hey, even Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, Lucy and ∂©≥ Desi did it in early cigarette TV commercials.

Those  ƒ¥†∞£ ads featured many famous actors, sports stars and other celebs telling us how cool and sophisticated smokers looked. Of course, we didn’t know it then, but they were burning out their ∑ß∂∫ lungs and those of others who were trapped with the inconsiderate ¥∂∑ƒ in rooms, cars and airline seats. 

Fortunately, today there are non-smoking rules in the workplace, restaurants, theaters, elevators, airlines and elsewhere, but not everywhere. True story! Just the other weekend I was at a ¶§¢∆ casino where smoking is not only permitted, but encouraged by skimpy-costumed gals parading around selling the ∫©ƒø poison. 

I noticed a very elderly woman puffing away on a ƒ¥¶∂ cigarette while she sat at a casino slot machine. Nothing unusual, except she had a portable metal oxygen tank next to her chair and a plastic tube leading into her nostrils. How πƒ%∂ addicted can you get? 

For a non-smoker, here’s a tempting hint to get a ¶ø√∫ nicotine addict to stop stinking up your air. Just say: Would you mind smoking somewhere else? May I suggest the ward for incurable cancer patients at the nearest hospital? What the ß∂¥≥ç, you’ll be there soon enough anyhow!

Note: As a courtesy to our more sensitive readers, curse words have been replaced by  ߧ∞æ symbols. If you’re smoking a ƒ∂ß®å cigaratte while reading this, you’ll know what they mean.


Hey, stop sucking in that poisonous burning thing for a moment and consider a suggestion. You realize, of course, you’re slowly killing yourself with inevitable nicotine-induced cancer.

Here’s a suggestion. With an admirable gesture of tender family love, you can opt to turn your fatal addiction into a noble deed. It’s really very simple. Take a hike to your town’s busiest traffic intersection during drive time. Close your eyes and walk into the street against the red light.

Of course, the impact will be painful as hell, but only for an instant. On the other hand, if you continue smoking, the agony will develop more slowly, but will get just as intense. You’ll suffer final long days and nights in a hospital bed as you cough yourself to death.

And think of how the quick demise on the street will benefit your grateful loved ones. They won’t have to spend months and all the family savings while watching you slowly fade away in grossly overpriced hospital care.

Another benefit your surviving loved ones may enjoy would be if they hire a crafty lawyer and sue the unfortunate driver who hit you. Agreed? Now, just take another deep puff, cough and go out there to seek a very expensive car for your fatally noble encounter.