Tag Archives: Uncle Sam

My Rich Uncle’s Money Got Me Free College Tuition

Today’s headlines about wealthy people’s kids getting into college reminds me of my own story. Through high school years I dreamed of attending the prestigious Philadelphia Museum College Of Art.

There wasn’t much of a chance when at age 17 I completed high school in June 1943. However, with tuition, supplies and other expenses, studying art would cost me nearly $1,000 a semester, money I didn’t have. I was ready to give up on going to college, but then my uncle would soon make it possible.

At that time during World 2, I was required to register for the military draft on reaching age 18. Instead, I enlisted in the Navy. That’s before that tall uncle with the white beard and colorful hat helped me go to college. Of course, first I had to spend two years of wartime sea duty and ashore for the Philippine Islands campaign.

Then, after I returned to Philadelphia in 1946, my beloved Uncle Sam paid my tuition, books and art supplies for four years. He added $50 a month cash just to show his generosity. OK, now today will they charge my Uncle Sam for using his financial influence way back then to get this grateful nephew four years of college for free?

Desperate For More Recruits, Army Now Enlisting Nutcases

According to USA Today, requirements have been lowered to accept those would-be soldiers with crazy histories. According to the official War Department list, their peculiarities include “self-mutilation, bipolar disorder, depression and drug and alcohol abuse”.

So, let’s give these nutcase guys weapons. What could possibly go wrong? Put one of the crazies on guard, and he calls out: Halt, who goes there? Bang. Gee, I wonder who went there. So, what the hell! Let all the nutcases into the Army!

Hey, come to think about it, insane military characters are nothing new in the good old USA. Consider Mad Anthony Wayne, George Old Blood & Guts Patton, Stonedwall Jackson, Dugout Doug MacAthur, Lighthorse Harry Lee, Sergeant Bilko, Captain Queeg, Dr. Strangelove, Stormin’ Norman Schwarzkopf and every basic training sergeant and Navy boot camp chief.

LATE FLASH: The Army now says because of all the heavy criticism caused by the USA Today report, it will not seek recruits with mental problem histories. Hmmm. Did anyone just see some white-coated guys carrying straight jackets run into the Pentagon?